I found myself drawn to you and your writing because of both a lack of older LGBTQ people in my life and my desire to know and understand what effects the AIDS crises had on our community back then and still to this day.
While I wholeheartedly understand your sentiment and possess an extreme amount of disdain for people who want us to sugarcoat calling out homophobia…Black folks are still very much niggers to a lot of people. No other group has taken that spot from us(not that this is a competition for whose more oppressed), and as someone who exist as both a Black person and as a gay man I have a bout of whiplash after reading this.
I truly do get your point and understand your frustration, being a respectable gay will get us nowhere in the long run, and refusing to call out homophobic/transphobic oppression for what it is only serves to harm our community. But our community is incredibly diverse and people of color do exist within it and within certain intersections. This intersection is the reason many of us are homeless, at constant risk of danger, and in the case of trans women of color…have a life expectancy of 35 years old.
I hope you understand this is not an attack of any sort, I just wish to make you aware of the harm in that comparison as it implies that racism towards black people stopped and homophobia filled that oppression niche. The devilish thing about things like racism, homophobia, sexism, etc. is that they don’t often diminish each other, they do the opposite to very devastating effect. Idk if you have ever heard of the Matrix of Domination, but that’s essentially what I’m alluding to here!
TLDR: Many people try to use the n-word and antiblack racism as a point of comparison for other oppressions when in actuality those other oppressions compound upon racism to lethal effect. No one in the LGBTQ community wins when we ignore how homophobia marries itself to other social evils.